I have gained weight!
This is a really big struggle in my life. I only seem to lose weight through deprivation and I cant do deprivation. I am really struggling to figure out my reasoning behind losing weight. It can’t be for others it has to be because I want to lose weight, because I care about me.
What I want is to be comfortable in my skin, comfortable in my clothes. Accept my body for what it is.
Gaining weight is not what I wanted, its going to be a long road.
Do you have any good hints on accepting yourself? Being healthy?


New Years Resolution

Usually I don’t do New Years Resolution, it’s not my ‘thing.’ This last year I ahve been really struggling with myself and how to make this ‘better life’ I keep trying to acheive. I decided to very quietly promise myself that this is the year to start taking care of my body.

Last year I made some progress to better my mind and emotions, 2013 will be the year of the body or as a friend and I have joked the year of the barbell!

I am not going to do anything drastic, no fad diets, no insane workouts….no time! My plan is to eat healthy and add exercise where I can. I am tired with this struggle and it is time to be honest, brutally honest. I am tracking what I am eating and trying to stay within a caloric range. I am hoping with time I will add exercise and activity without effort and that I can see what my trends in eating are and change them where possible.

Starting weight 205lbs.


After the birth of my two children I have really found losing weight to be a difficult task. Granted, I am not in my twenties any more and quite honestly I didn’t spend my twenties being that health concious or fit. I have done the working out thing, which was great and I give it lots of credit. Problem is, I barely have time to have a shower,  working out is not at the top of my list. Its on the to do list, but it gets skipped over regularly.

My mother via my brother brought forward a diet that intrigued me. Major disclaimer: I am not a diet person, I don’t like restrictions and I don’t like being told what I can and can`t have. For some reason though I decided to give this diet a try and I must say I was amazed at the results!

I lost 16lbs in under a month! A lot of that was water weight but seeing the scale move that quickly doesn’t usally happen unless I am stepping off the scale.

The diet I tried was ketosis, basically limiting the amount of carbohydrates and sugar in my diet.

I love carbohydrates and I will be the first to admit that I had a sugar addiction, but some how I found it really easy to do. I drank lots and lots and lots of water. I mean a lot of water! I ate a lot of eggs and cheese and I found that my hunger lessened and my energy increased. It was really weird.

Then, well then I moved. I didn’t have the food I needed at my finger tips, I was in a high stress environment and the good weather started. I wanted french fries and beer on a patio. Buttery popcorn and ice cream.

What has amazed me was after going without I have realized how bad the food I love made me feel. I felt bloated and tired after a heavy carbohydrate meal and I found sweets to sugary. I never ever thought I would think this way.

Being introduced to ketosis has changed my way of thinking about food. It has changed the way I look at planning meals.

I am currently trying to get back into the swing of things and trying to be strict on the ketosis diet. It is easy but difficult. Your body tells you it wants carbs and sugars, it tells you it is hungry. You eat and realize it is lying to you, you are not hungry, just thirsty. The beginning feels like a constant fight and then it all goes away and you start losing weight and feeling great. I hope I can struggle through and succeed.

After the birth…