Can’t make up my mind!

New year, new start right?

Well i am trying to blog again….but I have changed my home. Not really great for trying to have readers but I am trying to find a home that allows for easy access and easy up keep in my crazy land. If you still want to follow in my adventures comes see me at

www.mommywithavision.blogspot.com

I am trying to post regularly as part my new years resolutions. So far so good, so come follow if can! 

sun

I have and haven’t been doing good this new year and it really all depends on the measuring stick you use to measure my success. I have not been recording what I have been eating and I have not been recording and reporting my weight. I have been more active though.

We went for a nice walk on the weekend, it was cold and icey. The Mr let me walk ahead to get a little bit of fast past walking in.

It is a real battle for me. I wish it was easy. I haven’t been feeling the best lately and that is not helping with the fight. I don’t really feel like excercising and when I get hungry I don’t feel like using the energy to make something too healthy.

One day I do fine with it the next not so much.

I guess the goal is to have more good days then bad!

Image

This moment

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A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see

This Moment

this moment
A Friday ritual inspired by SoulMama. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see

WTF

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I have gained weight!
Argh!
WTF!
This is a really big struggle in my life. I only seem to lose weight through deprivation and I cant do deprivation. I am really struggling to figure out my reasoning behind losing weight. It can’t be for others it has to be because I want to lose weight, because I care about me.
What I want is to be comfortable in my skin, comfortable in my clothes. Accept my body for what it is.
Gaining weight is not what I wanted, its going to be a long road.
Do you have any good hints on accepting yourself? Being healthy?

New Years Resolution

Usually I don’t do New Years Resolution, it’s not my ‘thing.’ This last year I ahve been really struggling with myself and how to make this ‘better life’ I keep trying to acheive. I decided to very quietly promise myself that this is the year to start taking care of my body.

Last year I made some progress to better my mind and emotions, 2013 will be the year of the body or as a friend and I have joked the year of the barbell!

I am not going to do anything drastic, no fad diets, no insane workouts….no time! My plan is to eat healthy and add exercise where I can. I am tired with this struggle and it is time to be honest, brutally honest. I am tracking what I am eating and trying to stay within a caloric range. I am hoping with time I will add exercise and activity without effort and that I can see what my trends in eating are and change them where possible.

Starting weight 205lbs.

New Year, new start part deux?

I’m not sure, I keep trying this better life/ new vision thing only to be redirected, distracted and rerouted. I guess I have been unable to find what fits for me, what will work. Old habits die hard.

Between moving home, being a mother of two, wife, daughter, friend, time to better my self gets put to the last item on my to do list. I have restarted the process yet again to better myself, to attempt to take care of myself before others. Why not attempt to blog about it! I am crazy, I am sure of that fact. I need to find a way to be accountable to this process.

I am going to try some new things, some new attempts, new ways to approach the same problem. I can’t keep doing the same thing and expect a different result.

 

Aside

After the birth of my two children I have really found losing weight to be a difficult task. Granted, I am not in my twenties any more and quite honestly I didn’t spend my twenties being that health concious or fit. I have done the working out thing, which was great and I give it lots of credit. Problem is, I barely have time to have a shower,  working out is not at the top of my list. Its on the to do list, but it gets skipped over regularly.

My mother via my brother brought forward a diet that intrigued me. Major disclaimer: I am not a diet person, I don’t like restrictions and I don’t like being told what I can and can`t have. For some reason though I decided to give this diet a try and I must say I was amazed at the results!

I lost 16lbs in under a month! A lot of that was water weight but seeing the scale move that quickly doesn’t usally happen unless I am stepping off the scale.

The diet I tried was ketosis, basically limiting the amount of carbohydrates and sugar in my diet.

I love carbohydrates and I will be the first to admit that I had a sugar addiction, but some how I found it really easy to do. I drank lots and lots and lots of water. I mean a lot of water! I ate a lot of eggs and cheese and I found that my hunger lessened and my energy increased. It was really weird.

Then, well then I moved. I didn’t have the food I needed at my finger tips, I was in a high stress environment and the good weather started. I wanted french fries and beer on a patio. Buttery popcorn and ice cream.

What has amazed me was after going without I have realized how bad the food I love made me feel. I felt bloated and tired after a heavy carbohydrate meal and I found sweets to sugary. I never ever thought I would think this way.

Being introduced to ketosis has changed my way of thinking about food. It has changed the way I look at planning meals.

I am currently trying to get back into the swing of things and trying to be strict on the ketosis diet. It is easy but difficult. Your body tells you it wants carbs and sugars, it tells you it is hungry. You eat and realize it is lying to you, you are not hungry, just thirsty. The beginning feels like a constant fight and then it all goes away and you start losing weight and feeling great. I hope I can struggle through and succeed.

Memories

I have been thinking lately that I would like pictures from my childhood that captured certain times or moments that I hold dear in my mind but don’t know of any visual images captured to look at.

I was looking at my scarlet runner beans and I had a flashback to my grandparents house when I was a little kid. They lived in Vancouver and I would go and visit them in the summer for a week or so. I can vividly remember their backyard and their garden. They had one running beside their driveway and one that faced the back alley. My grandpa always grew scarlet runner beans and I can remember distictivly my grandpa and my grandma at the back of the house tending to their garden. I can see the types of clothes they were wearing, the way their hair was done and the way they smelled. I really enjoyed my time spent with my grandparents and my mind is full of details about them that I treasure, but I wish I had pictures that could capture the magic of those moments. Now that house has been sold and forever changed and my grandpa has passed away. The memories remain but a part of me wishes to walk back into that house and have that feeling again.
I just spent the weekend away with my family and as we drove out of town and began the long journey I was again reminded of a time, a memory so vivid that I can’t shake it no matter how many times I drive that road. Since my dad passed away I am astounded by the amount of places that I have tied to his memory. No picture to remind me but I find myself transported back to that moment where he was alive and around to spend time with no matter the circumstance.
In some way no pictures could capture those moments. They are memories we hold in our hearts just like the people we shared those memories with.